I was traveling in the United States in 2010 when I discovered the phenomena of bar tenders flipping incredible burgers on scorching hot grills right behind the bar while pulling beers and making small talk with tourists and crusted-on locals. I remember the cheeseburger at Memphis dive bar Earnestine & Hazels in particular was head-scratchingly delicious. For context, this was long prior to the burger explosion both locally and overseas; three years before Marys first opened it’s doors. There was no Matty Matheson, no Bon Appetit, no Alvin Cailan or Binging with Babish.
Fascinated with the incredible flavour profile of these seemingly simple burgs, my brother and I would go on to spend several years researching, sourcing hard-to-find ingredients and ultimate designing what we consider to be the perfect burger.
The parts…
Bread: It’s really hard to get good burger buns in Australia. You want something fluffy and not too flavourful. The bread is merely a pillowy vessel to host your carefully selected ingredients, and should not draw attention to itself. Most of the current crop of burger joints use a milk bun made to their specifications by Japanese bakeries like Bread Top, but these aren’t available to the public. Your best option currently (2020) is the ‘Baker & Co’ potato bun available at Woolworths. In a pinch you can use the brioche buns in the red and blue packet from Coles. They are a little too sweet but they they do have the correct texture and appearance.
For best results melt a tablespoon of butter in a hot fry pan and toast your buns lightly. This will soften the buns and give their insides some texture.
Burger Sauce: To be abundantly clear, burger sauce belongs on a hamburger. A hamburger is a burger with a beef patty, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion pickles and sauce. A cheeseburger on the other hand has no lettuce and tomato, and should have tomato sauce and American mustard in place of burger sauce. Two different items and never the twain shall meet. Burgers loaded with bacon, eggs, beetroot, doughnuts and fries are for grots. Don’t be a grot.
Our burger sauce. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and set aside. You can keep leftover burger sauce in the fridge basically forever.
4 tbsp Kewpie mayo
2 tbsp tomato sauce
2 tbsp yellow American mustard
1 tbsp dill pickle brine
1 tbsp Masterfoods gherkin relish
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
Spread some burger sauce on both of your toasted buns, then stack some butter lettuce and two slices of a very ripe tomato on the bottom bun. If you can get your lettuce and tomato from a growers market all the better, as watery flavourless tomato won’t do anything for your burg. Sprinkle some extremely finely chopped eschalot on your top bun and use the sauce to adhere 4 slices of homemade dill pickle.
Making your own dill pickles is easy and you need not adhere to crazy standards of sterilising and sealing jars if you plan on eating them within a few weeks. Simply bring a litre of water and a litre of white vinegar to the boil in to which you dissolve 4 tbsp of salt. Allow to cool completely before adding to a jar alongside small cucumbers, whole peppercorns and a few sprigs of dill. Pickles will be ready in one week.
Beef: This part is easy. Go to your butcher and ask them to grind chuck steak for you. If they’re a good and helpful butcher they should be able to regulate the amount of fat for you. 10-15% is perfect. Buy your beef on the day you’re going to use it. Form beef mince into a ball approximately 120g and season generously with salt. Definitely don’t add anything like bread crumbs or egg to your meat, it’s not 1997.
Smash your beef into the surface of an exceedingly hot fry pan or BBQ plate using the back of a large BBQ spatula, or even better, one of these purpose built burger smashers from BBQs Galore. The act of smashing the burger down contributes hugely to the texture and flavour of your burg and your should be able to develop a seriously crunchy crust on the outside of your burger whilst it’s still slightly pink in the middle.
After about a minute, flip your burger over and add two slices of processed american cheese. Some will turn up their nose at the prospect using processed cheese, but it truly is a key piece of the puzzle that is the ultimate American burg. In Australia it is exceptionally hard to get but if you have a Costco membership you can buy ‘Kirkland Signature Sliced American Cheese’ in 2.7kg quantities. You can also use ‘Fairdinks’, a service that will shop at costco on your behalf for a small fee. If you don’t have time to wait, Devondale ‘Burger Slices’ available at Woolworths and Coles will just about do too. Don’t use cheddar or any other sharp cheese. You want a creamy cheese with an excellent melt. To aid in the melting of your cheese add a splash of water to the pan and cover with a lid for 20 seconds.
While you’re cooking your burger you should prepare a burgers best friend and partner in crime. Add a few handfuls of frozen shoestring fries to 4 cups of hot vegetable oil and cook until golden brown. Toss fries in a bowl with salt while still slightly oily so that the salt adheres.
Place your beef patty on top of the tomato on your bottom bun and flip the lid on top. Squash it down a little for good measure. Serve in a bar-style burger basket with fries and some leftover burger sauce for dipping. Don’t eat this every day or you’ll be a fat boi.
